Resolving

In keeping with New Year's blogging tradition (well, my tradition anyhow) I've decided to share my resolutions for 2011.

These are a bit different that in previous years. If you've been following along, 2010 was a year of significant learning for me, so I'm going to do everything I can to apply what I've learned to making my life better.

Here's what I've got:

*Be honest. With myself and with those around me. Make it known what I want, then work out a compromise if it doesn't match others that are involved. Being unhappy about an outcome can only be blamed on me if I haven't spoken up, and it does nothing by harm me and those around me.

*Write more. Journal. Blog. Start a book (that might be a lofty goal...), but whatever it takes, make an effort to sit down and write!

*Make yoga & meditation a priority. I've already started down this path, now I just need to stick with it again. :)

*Photography: be better about capturing memories on photo. I sucked at it this year and really only have pictures from my vacation last January. That's totally unacceptable.

*Relax. I have a tendency to be wound a little tight sometimes. I need to just chill the hell out and only control what I can. Myself. I think I need to learn to be a bit more selfish, and enjoy it.

*Wear more jewelry. When I met my fiance he pointed out my lack of jewelry. Aside from my engagement ring, this is pretty true. So, I've decided to start experimenting more.

What are some of your resolutions for 2011?

Cheers!

-A

Reverb10 - Day 29, Defining Moment

December 29 – Defining Moment Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year. (Author: Kathryn Fitzmaurice)

There was a moment one day in November where a lot of things took place and I realized the potential of my emotional strength.

It was the moment when I realized that I'd not only been lying to myself, but to everyone else around me, for years. I hadn't been honest about the things I want, the things I need. And in this moment, I realized just what I needed to do for me.

It felt good, empowering, and a bit scary all at the same time. It was a moment I'll never forget.

Cheers!

-A

Reverb10 - Letter from my future self

Okay, so this prompt was difficult. Because of that, I'm just going to type what comes to mind. Maybe that's the best way to do it anyhow...some of my best work happens that way.

December 21 – Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?) (Author: Jenny Blake)

So let's start with the letter from my future self:

Hey Ashley,

What are you doing? I know you're only 26 and hardly have it figured out, so let me help you here a bit. First thing is first, I know you're well on your way, but the faster you get this whole "living the life you want to lead" thing figured out the better.

You really need to start being more honest with the people in your life. I'm not really sure what you're afraid of, but pussy footing around like this is only going to make you more miserable in the end. Sure, being honest and upfront has it's risks, but at least you can walk away knowing you did what was right for you.

If you don't look out for you no one else will!

You do this so well when it comes to your career right now, start getting it together in your personal life. You'll be thankful you did that sooner rather than later.

Just remember, no one can read your mind, not even your husband (er, I guess it's still fiance huh). You can tell it how it is without being a dick. Just do it. Even if you need to come to a compromise about something then at least by putting the honest truth out there you're making the first step toward that compromise.

Food for thought.

Keep working on those friendships that you've been strengthening...they're going to be critical over the next few years. Hold them tight.

Do everything you can to continue living your life with passion. You're starting to fall out of that, and it'll come to bite you if you're not careful.

Yoga will become a huge part of your life again, be sure to get out there and practice. Take different classes, at different studios, before settling on a place to practice. Get yourself back into that community.

Okay, enough demanding. Take these suggestions for what you will. You've learned a lot about yourself, now is the time to start applying these lessons and making a difference in your own life. You owe it to yourself.

Cheers!

-A (from the future)

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And now....a letter to myself as a 16-year-old.

Ashley -

I know you're really into being a punk kid right now, going to concerts, trying to get the hot boys to notice you, but trust me, it's not worth all the effort you're putting in.

Don't compromise who you are for someone else - otherwise you're going to have a very long road of self-exploration ahead of you that could have been avoided if you'd just stood up for yourself in your teens/early 20s.

Remember to listen to the lessons your parents have to show you. Sometimes they are subtle, but you're observant, so be sure to pay attention when you sense they might be trying to show you something. They're smart...they know.

If there's one thing I can tell you, make sure that when you get up every day, you've got something to live for, something you're truly passionate about. Even if it's your friends, your family, your career, a hobby, school, whatever it is. Make sure you live each day with passion. Make it a day to be proud of.

And never, ever quit writing. You're going to appreciate that skill one day.

Cheers!

-A

Reverb10 - Day 16 and 17

Okay, so I'm now getting around to day 16 and 17 of the Reverb10 challenge. Yes, I know, I skipped day 15. It's coming I promise - but Blogger isn't being nice about letting me upload the rather lengthy video I prepared...

And yes, I've been falling a bit behind. Although I do have to say last week was different and bizarre, so I'll blame that.

Anyhow, both of these looked like great vlog posts as well, but truth is, I just didn't feel like getting all mushy on camera - cuz both of these kinda are...

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Day 16

December 16 – Friendship How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)

Again, I don't like this because it's making me choose only one friend. But again, as far as friendships go this year, this one was easy to decide on.

Let me introduce my friend Sydney. Seriously, from day 1 this girl and I clicked. We're in the same industry, we're bloggers and twitterers and just all around fabulous people ;). Not to mention the fact that she started skydiving this year - which makes her pretty bad ass in my book.

I'm going to say that the change that took place in my life after befriending Sydney was definitely not gradual. She showed me, after some toxic friendship situations that there are good people out there who are willing to welcome you into their lives with open arms. She's impulsive, and very much tell-it-how-it-is. She gets me. She keeps me in check. She introduced me to a fabulous new dropzone which ultimately influenced the decision to move to Chicago (among other things, but that was a huge perk, I must say).

More than anything, she helps me look at things differently than I normally would. Who wouldn't want a friendship like this? BESPSL girl.

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Day 17

December 17 – Lesson Learned What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author: Tara Weaver)

I LOVE this prompt, mostly because, as I mentioned way back on Dec 1, this has been the year of lessons for me. I'm also all about self-improvement, so double yay.

Anyway, I'd say the biggest lesson I learned about myself this year is that I'm strong than I think, and I need to act on it.

I've come to see that I have a tendency to let people walk on me, and it's through no fault of theirs, it's because I'm not honest with them in the first place. I need to be better about standing up for myself, my needs, my wants - in every area of my life - before it gets to the point where I'm so aggravated I just want out of the situation.

I've learned that if I'm not upfront from the beginning I'm going to end up ruining relationships, on top of not getting what I want.

Along with that I've learned that strength is needed to live the type of life you want to live. Sometimes you just need to walk away - from bad friendships, from stressful situations, whatever the case may be so that you can move on to better places. But it may also mean reevaluating and changing things within yourself so that you can hold on to those things in your life that matter - career, relationships, the list goes on.

Sometimes I gotta dig deep to find it, but I've learned that the strength is there - now it's time to stand up for me, and the people who matter in my life. Suck it up - time to be a big girl.

Cheers!

-A

Reverb10 - Day 12-13

It's almost half way through the month and I'm still going strong with this Reverb10 Challenge - though I do have to admit, I've been slacking on the Reviews as of late...sorry guys.

Today, I'm picking up where I left off and doing two days in 1. Enjoy!

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Day 12

December 12 – Body Integration This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds)

I feel very lucky to be able to say that this is something that happens frequently in my life. I have two very special hobbies that allow me to just be...me.

The first is something that I'm sure won't shock anyone: skydiving. Once you exit that door at 14,000 feet and start plummeting to the Earth at over 120 mph, there's really no choice but to be one with mind and body.

And though it may not happen on every jump, when it does, a certain magic seems to happen.

Sometimes it's as if you're not trying at all, just thinking about what you want to do and it does. Those are the types of experiences you look at like, "whoa, the mind is a pretty powerful thing."

In the end, it was likely the hundreds of practice jumps that lead us to our ability to do these 'magical' things in the sky, but at the time, it seems almost spiritual.

The other times in my life where my mind and body are completely integrated is during yoga practice. This can sometimes be difficult, especially in challenging poses where your body is screaming at you and your mind is trying to stay at peace. But it's this practice that really melds your mind and body in one.

I can honestly say that at least 90% of the time, when shavasana comes around (the final pose for relaxation in yoga) my mind and my body are one. It's a beautiful thing.

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Day 13

December 13 – Action When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)

As I've said in nearly every post since day 1, 2010 has been the year of learning for me. Mostly I've learned about myself and the type of life I want to lead. I've learned what's important in life, like family and friends who really care, and having passion for life and learning when not to give up.

I certainly don't see this path of learning to just come to a screeching halt in 2011, but I do see more action taking place.

My next step then, I guess, is taking what life has shown me and making something of it. Building the life that I want in 2011. Getting rid of those things from Day 11 and starting out 2011 on a positive foot. If there's one thing that life has taught me this year, it's that happiness isn't something everyone is entitled to, it's something that you need to define for yourself, and make it happen. You have to work for it.

I guess maybe I should add a #12 to that list - sense of entitlement. I try my best not to fall into that trap that so many in my generation do, because I really do know that you have to work for those things you want in life, and just because I have a degree doesn't mean I'm going to get a corner office after 5 years at the company (not that I ever thought this, but I've seen attitudes from some that truly do have this sense of entitlement).

Anyhow, point is, 2011 is likely to be a year where I really start taking things into my own hands and making the changes I need to be happy with the life I'm leading. I sat back and let life show me the way this year, it's time for action now.

What changes do you want to see take place in 2011?

Cheers!

-A

Reverb10 Day 7 - Community

For those who have been following along, Reverb10 is an social media challenge of sorts, where every day there's a new prompt that gets you to think back on 2010 and look forward to 2011.

December 7 – Community Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)

My answer sort of covers part of 2009 as well, because, well, I did first discover this community back then. It's the skydiving community.

Is anyone shocked? Didn't think so.

But I really don't think I understood the depth of what this community has to offer until this year.

I've been lucky to take so many trips in 2010, from Florida, to New York, to South Carolina, to Chicago, to LA and now living in Chicago, and so many fun boogies like Everglades (Clewiston), Work Stinks! (Start Skydiving), and Chicks Rock (Elsinore) - apologies for those who have absolutely no idea what that last sentence means. Throughout my travels I've met some of the most incredible people - not just skydivers, but people. People who have taught me a lot about the person I want to be, and the type of people I want to be around.

God I love how all these prompts seems to tie back to earlier ones.

In this world, there isn't 6 degrees of separation, most times, there's only two. If someone you're talking to doesn't know one of your skydiving friends, then likely one of their friends do. It's a very tight-knit community, and one that I continue to be proud to be a part of every day.

In the next year, I'd like to get more involved in the world of social media. I'm eyeballs deep in it everyday, but living in Cleveland there wasn't much of an opportunity to get out there and learn from people outside my little bubble. Chicago has this way of creeping in and popping your bubble, so bring it on. I've got a thirst for knowledge that just won't quit!

Cheers!

-A

Anyhow,

Reverb10 - Days 4-6

Like I said, I wouldn't be blogging about this everyday....I'm a girl who likes her weekends off, thankyouverymuch. But that doesn't mean I forgot about the challenge. So let's dive right in, shall we?

Day 4

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

This one is easy - I moved to a new city! Granted, Chicago definitely wasn't unfamiliar territory, having grown up in lower Michigan and all. But I was able to reconnect with my desire to explore, on a low budget. I do have to admit that I've been lucky enough to travel around the country this year, from New York to South Carolina to LA and now landing, permanently, in Chicago. It's been a wild ride.

When I look back at all the excitement and even all the challenges that have come along with this year, I'm not sure I would change anything. It really has given me a chance to not only wonder about my new surrounding, but about myself as well. Those experiences are invaluable.

Day 5

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

Boy, this challenge is really making me lay it all out there, and it's only day 5.

This year, I let go of a few people that I once considered friends. This turned out to be one of the best things that happened all year. Mostly because, these people are highly toxic - this is speaking personally of course. Just because someone is toxic to my life doesn't mean they will be to others. Though I have a sneaking suspicion I'm not the only one who was affected this way.

Letting go of relationships, no matter how strong they once were, is never easy. But, you always end up learning something about yourself in the process. Noticing a trend here? It all dies back to day 1 - learning. The idea of letting go of toxic people from your life isn't so much about them as it is about yourself. There was a need to be a better person, and I couldn't do that with them in my life. Negativity surrounded me in the presence of these folks. In order to lead the life I truly believe in, it had to be done without them. Sometimes, thems just the breaks.

Day 6

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

What was the last thing I made? Like arts and crafts?

I'm going to stretch this one a bit, because the last thing I really made by hand was likely not this year. However, this weekend I did make my first family Christmas. Okay, so we made our first family Christmas. My fiance and I got a tree - granted, it's a 4 foot tall fake tree, but a tree none the less, and we decorated it with lights and beads and ornaments. We even got an "our first christmas" ornament. We used the left over LED lights around the living room window. It's only mildly festive, but it definitely feels like the holidays in our apartment now.

What I'd like to make time to make next year is an Etsy shop. In 2009 I sold a bunch of pictures, many of them right here on the blog, so I'd love to get back into my photography a bit more and start selling them, matted and framed, or even just the prints. I love sharing my photography with people who appreciate it. Hell, I even love sharing with people who don't so much ;).

So, I'm caught up now...Happy Monday!

Cheers!

-A

I don't care

Have you ever noticed that when someone says something like, "I don't care" or, as I stated last night, "I don't give a crap!" there's this part of them that does seem to care?

"Whatever, I don't care." *rolls eyes*

Maybe it's just me, because I see that happening to me all the time (read: I'm the one stating my indifference). Thing is, it's not as if I truly don't care, it's more that I don't want to care.

There's a part of human nature - or maybe not so much nature as a behavior that we're grown up to act out - to be curious about other people. I've found this happens especially when you move away from some place or you have friends who move away from you, or when you become estranged from someone or some part of your life...we like to check up on that stuff, even though we know we really shouldn't waste our time with the past.

Things like social media make this such an easy thing by allowing us to hold onto some parts of our past, no matter how much they shouldn't matter, to keep them in our lives - even to the smallest degree.

So, those things that you "don't care" about are also those things that pop up in your Facebook news feed or in Gchat, reminding you.

And sometimes, no matter how much we want it, we have issues cutting these ties and moving on. Fear of change, I suppose?

Regardless, there are some aspects of my life that I have consciously removed, both from my consciousness and from social media. And if anything resembling that part of my past life pops into existence, I promptly remove it with a smile and continue on. Of course, there are times where it comes up in conversation and I politely mutter, "I don't care" and walk away. Or, like yesterday, "I don't give a crap."

Problem is, part of me does still give a crap, no matter how much I wish I didn't. Guess you can't help but look back on those things in life that didn't go as you planned and wonder how it could have been if... you know? Not always in the sense that you're missing something now, or that it could have been better in any sense of the word, but just that it could have been different - especially if you did something you weren't proud of.

I guess, it's all about learning from those situations, hence the reflection, and knowing now that your happiness in this moment and in the future is all that matters.

This is precisely what I've done. So I will continue to tell you that I don't care until I believe it myself.

Cheers!

-A

Getting it figured out in your 20s

Okay, so this is a random, quarter-life crisis post I suppose. I'm sharing a few of the lessons that have recently been uncovered in my life. It appears 2010 is a year of learning for me, so I'm embracing it and sucking up every ounce of knowledge that life has to offer...and now I'm going to share these learnings with you. Take this as you will - the advice might apply or it might not, but I believe it's insight worth sharing. Cheers!

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So I've come to the conclusion that your 20s is really when you learn the most. Sure you go to school for nearly 20 years and that's supposed to be where you soak up your knowledge - in the classroom - but in reality you learn nothing about the real world until you are eyeballs deep in it.

When you're in school, your friends are right along beside you. In the real world, true friends are few and far between, and you often learn the hard way who those friends are. Though, it's bittersweet, because learning who the real ones are can give you all sorts of warm fuzzies, while learning that those you once trusted aren't what they seemed can be disheartening. But I believe there's a reason for the connections that stick. There are just some people you click with from the beginning and usually these are the people who play an important role in your life. I have yet to learn exactly why this might be, maybe it's not for me to understand. I'll be sure to share if I ever figure it out.

I've also learned to embrace those wonderful female relationships - those women who have stuck by me through the craziness of my life will never truly know how grateful I am because I can't do enough to show them that. This goes for everyone from my mother to my girlie cousins (no matter how far away) to my grandmother to my best friends and all those badass women adrenaline junkies I've had the pleasure to share the sky with (and some I can't wait to one day). Women are crazy bitches, we all are, but those that trust and love you go above and beyond. Hold those ladies tight and be sure to do right by them. We all need each other...sticking together is key!

When you're in your 20s you also learn about priorities, what's most important to your well-being. There have been a number of events recently that have shown me what's important in life and what can wait. Personally, I'm also learning balance. Until recently I've been an all or nothing kinda girl. If I'm going to do something, I'm going to completely emerse myself in it, never coming up for air, until I've accomplished exactly what I set out to do. Turns out, that doesn't work as well as I once thought. There's gotta be a balance. Life is like baking. There are lots of ingredients that make your life into the perfect pastry...I have yet to figure out the precise amounts of each "ingredient," but I finally start to feel like I'm getting there. I haven't made the perfect cupcake yet, but at least it's got a cake-like texture.

Okay, that got lame. Apologies.

Now is this a time for figuring out who you are and what you want to do with your life, but it's also a time to figure out how to BELIEVE in who you are. One thing I've learned is that you can't compromise who you are for other people. Most people in this world suck - they're selfish and don't give a shit about you, so why give a crap about them? Stay true to who you are, and those that matter most will stick around. Besides, you're at your best when you can completely be yourself. Personally, I want to be around people who appreciate me for who I am, and vice versa. Fakeness has never worked for me - it doesn't work for most, I have a feeling, as I can often see right through those who try too hard.

Be there for your family, make them a priority. Whether you like it or not, they're not going anywhere, so you might as well enjoy the time you spend with them. You might be surprised how much you love the company of these people with whom you share a bloodline. ;)

Though I've come to learn that "family" doesn't necessarily mean what I once thought. You don't have to be blood relation to be apart of a family. My closest friends are my family. My boyfriend is my family. And of course, my actual family is my family. I'm lucky to have incredibly supportive relatives - not everyone does. But those people who stick by you and support you and love you, they are your family too. Treat them as such. Be loyal and commit to them the way they have to you.

Be a part of something bigger than yourself. This can be anything from volunteering to starting a family or even owning a pet, to devoting your life's actions to a particular cause. This will help you step out of the selfish life most of us lived growing up and become a useful part of society. It also will help you realize that it's not always about you (some people desperately need to learn this lesson - though unfortunately, some never will) there are bigger, more important things out there. Strive to make an impact.

Be polite. Smile as often as possible. Say thank you. These little things make a huge difference, and you never know when that might be the brightest spot in someone's day.

Have passion for something. Anything. Whether it's a hobby, your family, even your career. This is where you can truly learn to live. Passion gives you something to wake up for in the morning. It provides a direction. It makes progress in this area seem less like work - it becomes enjoyable. Passionate people are the ones who make an impact in this world. They care and they are devoted to this passion. They do something with their life. I like to be passionate about everything I do, it helps you live in the moment. Which brings me to my next point...

Live in the moment you're in. Often we spend too much time looking ahead or dwelling on the past, but we're missing what's happening in front of us. Stop. Embrace the moment. Talk less and listen more. This is great advice I was once given by someone much wiser than me. I'm just the messenger...still working on this one. Each and every day.

Let's see...what else.

Oh right! Your health. Take it into your own hands. When you're a kid you have to go to the doctor, your parents make you. Be proactive as an adult. Make appointments, take a multivitamin, eat healthy, don't smoke, don't drink like you're still in college. Bad shit can creep up on you fast. Beat it to the punch.

I'm sure there's some advice about money and saving for your future and all that, but honestly that's not a lesson I've completely learned yet. Budgeting and sticking to it is a challenge I continue to struggle with...'saving' might as well be a four letter word in my vocabulary. Hopefully one day life will show me the way - preferably not so much the hard way.

Either way, your 20s is a time for getting it figured it out, hopefully. Though I'm confident the learning continues throughout life, the 20s seems to be a decade of learning by doing -- life isn't something you can learn in a textbook. It's all about experience, making mistakes, or even doing the right thing the first time and knowing it was right.

Many of my lessons have come this year, 26 is the magic age, apparently. Family, relationships, being a part of something bigger, responsibility - these are all things that have made themselves not only apparent but a priority in my life. I have a feeling this is just the beginning of what I'm about to discover. If you're interested, I'll keep sharing as I continue learning.

What are some of the lessons life has taught you lately?

Cheers!

-A

An inward focus

As I was listening to one of those brain-dead radio shows last week, there (inadvertently) was a rather smart message that came across.

One of the hosts was going on about how he cares about what the hosts of other shows on their network think and what they say about their show. Host #2 gave him tons of crap about that - who gives a shit what everyone else thinks. More than that, why do you care about what they DO? Who has time to worry about what other people are doing?

Good point!

At this point in time, many of us live our lives very publicly - online! Things like Facebook and Twitter and Foursquare not only let people tell others what they are up to at every moment of every day, but now they can tell others exactly where they are doing it.

Facebook has become less about connecting with others and sharing common interests and more about bragging rights.

I'll admit, after spending much time on Facebook, I'm a little jaded. I see so many people everyday with nothing better to do than bitch and moan about things they don't like and to spend time crafting the perfect status update to let everyone know, once again, just how awesome they are.

So what's to come is highly opinionated.

In this virtual age we're in, people are spending more time lurking online. I'll admit, I do it from time to time - especially with blogs. I often read and never comment, mainly because I don't have anything witty or worthwhile to say.

People are doing this with all social media channels, and I think it's sparking competition where none existed before. Status updates are used to "one up" people that are supposed to be your "friends." Photos and videos are posted to prove a point. Real life friends are turning against one another because someone hung out with the group and didn't invite someone else, and they're posting it all on Facebook just to hurt those that were left out.

Cyber-bullying!

And it's not just limited to kids. In fact, I often think that adults are more prone to this type of behavior. I won't even go into the passive-aggressive behavior that's out there. You can read my thoughts on that here.

For most of us who spend any amount of time in the online world, we've either seen or experienced this first hand.

I often hear people complain about the "lifecasters," those people who broadcast every move they make, "I'm at work," "I'm at home," "I just pooped and there was corn in it." (I can't take credit for that one...came from a much wittier friend), but you get the idea.

But I think my biggest gripe is the people out there who are just trying to be assholes.

....

Okay, so this got quite a bit off topic, let me get back.

The point was that so many people spend so much of their waking lives these days worried about what others are doing, saying and thinking (this is made easier by the social media channels noted above, and by the lifecasters who post every move they make...see it all comes together somehow), that maybe it's time to take a look inward for a change and focus on what you are doing.*

We've all been there at some point, thinking about what someone else is doing, caring what their thoughts are, but when you look at the big picture, who has time for that?

Last week I spent a little time reflecting on the things in my life, the things that are missing. I've never been the type of person to have one focus in life. I love my job, I love my family, I love skydiving, I love blogging, but any one of these things by themselves are not enough. I like to be multi-dimensional I suppose.

A big part of my life that's been missing lately is my photography - something I've been meaning to get back. So I've made a plan to get that back. And hopefully I can start sharing some fun stuff with y'all again, right here :).

But remember how I mentioned not having time enough time in the day - well that just slapped me upside the head as I continue to ramble. So I'm off to get back to my day.

Thanks for letting me rant - what's your rant of the day?

Cheers!

Ashley

*Many life lessons have recently pointed to the idea that you should embrace how you're living your life, be proud of the choices that you make and to love the life you lead - no matter what others say.

Living for the future

We all know these people, the ones who hate their jobs to the core and who spend every day awaiting the weekend so they can start living.

Then there's that subset of people who take it a step further - the ones who live for Saturday, only to sleep most of it away, followed by a Sunday bitching that tomorrow is Monday.

Some life.

(Sorry, that was rude)

I'm not here to judge. If that's your cup of tea, enjoy it. Just don't make me drink it!

Attitudes like this are toxic, sometimes even contagious. Those of us who are trying to live out every day to the fullest have to struggle not to be swayed into this mindset when it surrounds us.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm one of the lucky ones. As I've mentioned before, I've got a day job that I truly enjoy, working with a fantastic team of incredibly smart people, a group of beyond amazing friends who I can count on for just about anything, a hobby that fills my weekends with fun and excitement, and the best friend, partner and lover a girl could ever ask for, living under the same roof.

Needless to say, I have lots of reasons to be embracing every day. But for those of you out there who can't seem to live for the moment, please, don't try to bring me down with you.

Lately I've been getting more and more Facebook and text messages from people who aren't working for one reason or another saying something to the effect of "sucks you're stuck at work! I took the day off to do X, Y, Z..."

Almost like, "ha! in your face. you're at work and I'm not."

All that makes me want to do is send them a message the next day saying "gosh, it sucks you're back at a job you hate and I'm enjoying mine. that really blows. :) neener!"

Of course that would accomplish nothing and I'd feel like a big turd for trying to make someone feel bad. That's never a goal of mine. Ever.

If there's one thing I've learned in the last year of my life, it's that arrogance and bragging don't get you very far in life. Neither does bitching about something. If you want it, go get it. If you don't like it, work to change it.

Spend the time that's wasted on spouting off at the mouth on something more constructive to make your life what you want it to be. Sure, we all have to do things we don't enjoy from time to time, and everyone has those days where they wish they could have done something else - even if it was just stay in bed. But as I see it those days should be few and far between, not the norm.

And if they are, and you are either content living that way or don't have the drive to make changes, then at least do those of us a favor who are out there embracing each day and fake it.

I'm going to hop down off my whining soapbox now and go back to doing something constructive. Have a lovely day! :)

Cheers!

-A

11 little secrets of my own

Okay - so I'm borrowing this idea from Justin Kownacki, mainly because I really, really like his list!

He borrowed the idea from Chris Penn, whose list is also thought provoking, but Justin's hits home for me.

So I've decided to create my own list of secrets to staying happy, healthy, productive and sane. This is a very personal, specific list, but I'll try my best to broaden these secrets to apply to a more general audience - so y'all can relate.

I'm shutting up now. Here's my list:

1. Drink plenty of water. This is first on the list because I can't express how important this really is. When you spend the majority of your time in an office like I do, coffee is often your best friend. But if you don't balance that out with enough H20 your body is going to suffer. Keep from getting sluggish by sipping water throughout the day. Another benefit, you won't be as hungry. Our minds often confuse thirst with hunger. So when you're mildly hungry, try 6-8 oz of water first - then see how you feel!

2. Be pro-life. When I first started my career I was all about spending long hours at the office, working weekends and sacrificing my life so I could get ahead. Sure, I earned promotions, but who wouldn't when all you do is work. My managers started bugging me about getting out, enjoying nice weather, and NOT burning out. After 3 years of nuttiness (yep, that's a word, I just decided) I decided to be pro life and spend a little more time with my hobbies and my boyfriend, and a little less time at the office.

3. Learn how to be a better person from everyone you meet. Yep, even the assholes.....especially the assholes! What a better opportunity to look at someone and say "I know I don't want to be like that." Lucky for me, I live with someone who inspires me every day! Take note of the things you like about the people you like, and learn to adopt some of those qualities. You can be the person you want to be!

4. Spend some time with yourself. This goes along with Justin's secret of being comfortable alone. Take time to learn about you, what you want, who you are. Be comfortable with yourself. You are your biggest critic, sure, but you can also be your biggest advocate, without being arrogant...which brings me to:

5. It's not always about you. You know those people who, in conversation, are just waiting for you to finish your story so they can tell you theirs. Or the people who ask questions like "how was your weekend?" just so they can tell you about what they did? Yeah, don't be that guy. Listening will get you farther in life than you might think. Be humble and pay attention, this will help you with #3.

6. Jump out of airplanes. This is pretty specific to my tastes, but in general, have something that challenges you, and lets you learn about yourself. Skydiving is very meditative for me, I have learned more about myself through this sport than most anything else I've done in life. It's a reminder that I'm stronger than I think!

7. Don't be too hard on yourself. No one is perfect, even though the media wants us to think otherwise. Figure out the type of person you want to be and work hard to be just that. Learn to embrace your quirks and don't put yourself down. It's important to understand that everyone makes mistakes, and we're all going to trip up now and again. Which leads me into number eight...

8. Forgive, but don't forget. Holding onto anger hurts no one but yourself. It takes a lot of energy and brain power to be angry with someone for long periods of time. Say your peace then, if for no one other than yourself, move beyond it. Though this doesn't mean you should forget. Sure, people make mistakes and deserve second chances, but there's a limit to how much you should take. No one should be a pushover.

9. Be active. Do something active every day. Whether it's going to the gym, walking your dog in the park, taking a stroll on the beach, practicing yoga, whatever suits you. But trust me, you'll feel better if you find time to use your body every day.

10. LOVE. Have passion. This really should be number one on the list, because in my life it's certainly the most important. I like that my life is consumed with things that I am passionate about - my job in social media (which I truly enjoy), practicing yoga, going to spinning classes, skydiving, and going home every night to the love of my life. Without these things I'd be lost.

11. Live in the moment. Too often we're looking ahead at what's to come, or dwelling on something from the past. But if you open your eyes and look around, you can learn to truly appreciate the present moment, too.

Now I'm going to tag all the bloggers out there who are reading this! Let's hear your list of secrets. :-)

Cheers!

-A

Changing it up

Sometimes life lessons are easier learned from someone else...

As I was catching up on my Google Reader this morning I came across a rather inspiring post from Ben over at No Ordinary Rollercoaster.

Though the issues are slightly different, I'm still seeing where this whole quit-whining-and-just-do-it attitude can really come in handy in my life.

Here's a little background for those who give a crap.

Lately I've been working my butt off to get a couple of projects off the ground and there are a lot of road blocks to making these things successful. For some, it's just a matter of working past these things and coming up with new ideas, but for others they've really stopped me in my tracks.

And since I'm not one to easily give up, it frustrates me even more to see myself heading in that direction....or at least, putting things on the back burner until further notice.

It's a downward spiral from there, where I think I'm not good enough to get past the roadblocks so I stop trying, then I'm not even good enough to keep trying...you get the picture. It's tough not to get discouraged when your hitting roadblock after roadblock, especially when these barriers are people as opposed to circumstance.

Regardless, I'm putting my head down and barreling through...if I'm persistent something good will come of it all. Of this I am certain :-)

Oh and then I get this little bit of news:

So most of y'all are aware that I picked up skydiving in the last year and I'm totally in love with it. Most of you are also aware that I started a skydiving blog so I had a reasonable excuse to talk about it all. the. time. It's treated me well, to say the least, and I have a very supportive group of followers. Though on the not-so-positive side, in starting a new blog I've neglected this one more than I should....I can't apologize enough. But see, I'm trying. Brownie points for that, right?

....

Right?

Anywhosits, so it turns out this little blog of mine is a bit of a sore spot for some. Why? Got me. (editor's note: though as much as I hear they hate my blog, according to my analytics they continue reading regularly....not sure I get that, exactly, but whatever.)

Normally this is something I'd dig around to figure out because how can someone possibly not like me and not love everything that I'm doing in life...

Yes, I actually believed this for about 25 years.

But this is where I begin to adopt the who cares attitude. As my mother told me, not everyone is going to like me and the things that I do.

"But Mooommmm.......they have to. The just HAVE to like me..."

The challenge comes in sticking to your guns and living the life you believe in, even when there are people out there who outwardly ridicule your thoughts and actions.

Rather than stressing about pleasing everyone, I've found it's much easier to say "f- them" and go about business as usual. After all, THEY are the one's with the problem...not you.

Wait, who am I giving this pep talk to again? I think I switched right in the middle, but that's okay because I'm sharing with you a fabulous lesson that I learned in life, and it's this: no matter who doubts you, ridicules you, or discriminates against you for one reason or another, keep on living the life you believe in and accomplishing the goals you set out to in the first place. You'll be much happier in the end when it's about pleasing yourself and those you care about instead of pleasing those who make it clear they don't give a crap about you.

In the end, these people don't know what they're missing - but you can step back and take pride in your accomplishments and know full well that the people who are standing beside you a true friends and supporters. Why would you wish for anything less?

So tell me dear readers, what are some of the life lessons you'd like to share with the class?

Cheers!

-A

Starting 2010 off right

This is something I haven't been doing...

Most people start off a new year with resolutions to eat healthier - the BF and I baked a cake last night and had a piece (or two) at 10 o'clock; start a workout plan - I did just find a new yoga studio on my side of town that I'm already loving, so one point there; or get more sleep - we've been up past midnight the last few night playing Wii or watching old episodes of The Office on Netflix (I got him hooked on my favorite sitcom, oops).

Then there's me. The girl who resolved to clean up her sailor mouth. Which, is going pretty well actually; aside from the moment when I woke up today and realized I'd slept an hour longer than I wanted to.

My attempts at starting work by 7 a.m. have been foiled by the late night Wii playing I suspect. Needless to say, the day started with a giant F bomb.

This morning the BF mentioned in passing that I should have made it a resolution to break my dependence on the snooze button and he's right...there are some things I seriously overlooked when making my resolutions.

Who cares if it's already the 6th. The point is, I'm acknowledging these weaknesses and intend to work on them in the coming months.

So there. *raspberry*

-Clearly, the first on the list is to stop hitting snooze. I'll allow myself one snooze per day from here on out.

-Drink more water - I feel like I've been dehydrated ever since New Years. The soda drinking has come to an abrupt halt as well, so that should help.

-Get out of debt - this is huge and really should have been at the top of my resolution list from the beginning. It's very doable.

-Be in the moment - and appreciate the moment. Even the not-so-great moments. We so often fall into the trap of looking ahead, and sometimes, dwelling on the past, when there are amazing things happening right under our noses in the present time. This is a piece of advice I recently received and it's a damn good one, if you ask me. So, I'm going to try to live by it!

-Actually stick to my to-do lists - I love making lists (as you can tell) but I often set them aside when I get busy. So, let's try this again. It certainly won't be happening with this list ;-)

There are a lot of current projects in the works so I need to make sure that I take care of myself and stay on the ball with these resolutions. Baby steps to improvement...

And, just for shits and giggles, here's a picture from NYE. It started out as a decent photo - then our friend Tim took a flying leap onto the BF.

How are your resolutions going so far?

Cheers!

-A

p.s. - by popular request, I'm starting to add a little more of myself back into this blog. So keep coming back to catch up on the shenanigans of my life.

Maybe I'm not cut out for this

Okay, so I'm going to dive into my personal life here a bit. I'm sure some of you nosey Nellys out there are dying to keep reading - I know I would be - but I wanted to give fair warning that I'm about to share more about me than usual. Here goes.

As some of you are aware, others may not be, the SO and I broke things off a few weeks back.

It was for the best, really. We had plans to move in together but it was for the wrong reasons. Luckily, a few moments of clarity saved us from jumping into something neither of us was ready for.

Since the break up, my life has taken some strange turns. 

You'd think with an event like this, things would slow down and even out a bit. Well, not with me. My life is always a whirlwind, and I couldn't love it more that way!

Here's a snapshot of what's been going on:

• I've been given numerous new opportunities at work.
  

     

• Without mindfully trying, I've lost five pounds since the break up. I've even been less stressed and eating more than usual. I know, I don't get it either.
  

• My travel schedule is packed, between business and skydiving, I might be home a total of 5 days in the month of September. Seriously.

• I'm heading to SkyVenture New Hampshire in October with some very experienced jumpers. I might be slightly intimidated, but feel lucky to have been invited along!

• I was recently told by a close friend that he is happy to see the "old Ashley" back and that "bitchy Ashley" is gone. It was pointed out that old Ashley came back a few weeks ago...um, wow.

Am I really that bad at being a part of a couple that I'm only at my ideal weight, personality, and level of opportunity when I'm unattached?

If so, what does that say about me?

I can't really imagine my life without the craziness and rapid change - that's just sort of how it's always been. Maybe a little tamer when committed relationships are involved, but still highly active none the less.

All I know right now is that I'm excited for what's coming. There are opportunities that lay before me that I never dreamed. Single or attached, I'm one lucky girl.

Cheers!

-A