Let me tell you, it's not alawys easy. Sometimes it's downright frustrating. I am most often stubborn, and at times rather prideful...neither of those traits work well in this game of learning and adapting that is life.
One thing I've noticed lately in my efforts to live the life I believe in is that, generally speaking, people spend a lot of time thinking about the thoughts and actions of others. But really, is that the best use of brain power?
I'm guilty of this too, and when I consciously tell myself that I'm going to worry about my own happiness and not let someone else's thoughts and emotions negatively affect my own - because let's be honest here, we can only pretend to know what someone else is thinking or feeling until they actually tell us, even when their body language seems to say it all - I'm able to do so successfully for a short period of time before I slip right back into old habits.
They say habits take 21 days to form or break...but that's a really freaking long time in some instances...
I've been cursed with this intrinsic desire to want to please everyone, and often that leads to me being frustrated and unhappy because A) you can never please everyone, and 2) I tend to ignore my own wants and needs in the process.
So slowly, over time, I've learned when and how to stand up for the things that I want. However, I'm still very much working on this. It's gotten easier at work, in skydiving, but for some reason when it comes to my interpersonal relationships (read: friends, family), I wait to speak up until it's too late.
I'm sure y'all have been there before...when the time does come that you're like, "yeah, this isn't gonna work for me," you're already so far down the path (of whatever the situation is) that frustration ensues.
But, this is so not the point.
The point is that people spend way too much of their conscious life worrying about what other people are doing - even when it doesn't affect them in the slightest. Things like Facebook and blogs only encourage that type of thought, as it makes the curious mind very available to finding out what people are up to.
It's funny sometimes. I had a friend who was obsessed with online stalking her ex after they broke up. They remained Facebook friends and she would poke around pictures that people posted online, look at profiles of girls he was friends with, and just generally obsess over the things he was doing. She'd even use Facebook status updates to physically stalk him at parties and events and try to play it off as a random run in.
Yes, that's an extreme example of what I mean, but the picture is a little clearer now, is it not? :)
We've all been guilty of the online voyeurism that has become so mainstream and so acceptable. For those of us who work in the social media and online space, it's nearly impossible to avoid, but it might be wise to consciously do so.
My Facebooking and social media behavior has definitely evolved over time, from reconnecting with old friends in college to staying in touch with close ones after, to keeping updated on the real-life communities in which I'm active, to posting things that say "look at me and the cool shit I'm doing," to realizing that social media has a greater overall purpose: Sure, it's good for these things, but it's also a great resource for acquiring knowledge.
There is so much out there to consume these days, that you need filters to help you decide what is relevant. And sometimes, these mediums can act as a good resources. Those campaigns, videos and cool things that are truly viral will certainly find their way into your newsfeed so you can keep up on the latest and you're not missing out at the water cooler.
But it's up to you to consciously consume exactly what it is that will lead you one step closer to that life you believe in (see, it's coming full circle...thought I'd never get there?...I was kinda wondering myself ;0)
Personally, I started to hide updates from friends who do nothing but talk about their daily lives: I'm at work, I'm at home, I'm eating a sandwich, I'm pooping....none of that is relevant to me. But of course, these people are legitimate friends who just tend to overshare. That's their choice, and I love them no less for it, I just don't need those updates by the minute.
On a more extreme level, I've unfriended people who are not legitimately friends. After all, why would I want to see updates from people I don't even really care for, or people who have made it known they don't care for me. That's not productive, and doesn't lend a hand in my becoming a better person. Those I've kept around - whether they are real-life friends from college/high school, new friends from my travels, or interesting people that I've encountered via social media - contribute to my happiness and add to the wealth of information I like to consume online.
Those are some of my personal efforts to prevent myself from consuming any valuable part of my day worrying about what other people are doing....and it prevents me from worrying so much about who sees information about me, and subsequently what they think of me. But that's an entirely different issue for another day.
Hope you found my long winded brain dump useful. But if not, oh well, I can't concern myself with that ;).
Cheers!
-A
