Poll: dealing with fake "friends"

Last night the BF and I got into a discussion on dealing with people who are rude, two-faced, irrational or just downright pigheaded.

This was one of those times where we completely disagree with one another. But don't get me wrong, that's not a bad thing in the slightest. We do what works for us - can't get after someone for that. And there are even times where I've taken our differences and blended them together to make a better solution (I'm sure he's done the same from time to time, right honey?), these differences only work to make you a better person, in the end. But I do find it interesting that our approach differs so much.

Here's a scenario to put it into perspective a bit: so you have this person, who you assume is your friend, right? But they're always making shitty comments, doing stupid things that really get under your skin. You blow it off, cuz that's what friends do, give each other crap, and you don't want to be a big puss about it...Then you find out that they are doing and saying this shit behind your back as well. You're irritated...so what do you do.

Here are the two trains of thought on this one:

1. The next comment that's made you get in their face, let them know just how you feel about what they have to say. Essentially, do something about it.

2. Let it roll off your back. Not everyone is going to be the friend you think they are, but getting upset about it just isn't worth your time or energy. Stay strong and keep on being who you are, no matter what other people think.

These are very dumbed down versions of the discussion, but you get the idea.

I fall into the latter category - my theory is, if someone can't be a good friend all the time, then they're just not worth the effort. Saying something isn't going to change anything, because they are going to be who they want to be, regardless.

The BF, of course, falls into the former category. His thought isn't so much about trying to get someone to change so much as standing up for what you believe in, letting people know it's not okay to act this way if you want to be friends, and getting it off your chest.

Both have very valid points, as I'm sure both have their flaws. And of course, what works for some may not work for others, but I'm curious, which side of the fence do you stand on? The one that's a little more passive, maybe a little more Buddhist in approach, or the one that gets the point across and gets the tension off your chest?

Poll time - category 1 or 2, and why?

Cheers!

-A