Stronger Personality

For those who know me beyond the blogosphere, it goes without saying that I am a strong personality. Like it or not, I tend to be animated and often highly energetic. Some blame it on the coffee, but I like to think my outgoing nature is a learned trait from my career as a professional communicator – not to mention my type A personality and a desire to be in control of my life, but that’s a topic for another day.

What makes this fact interesting is the encounters I have with other strong personalities. Quite frequently I am called out on my behavior as they see it (and proceed to blow it all out of proportion). For example, I am a highly inquisitive person. Strong personalities tend to see this as nosey – but really, I’m just curious by nature. Not a good example? I didn’t think so either. But as always, this isn’t about me, so let’s move on….

A recent encounter with a fellow young professional who entered my life this winter has made me step back and reflect on personality traits as a basis for friendship. Most people want to befriend someone similar to them – people who come from the same type of background, enjoy the same hobbies, are involved in similar careers, but what about innate personality traits? How similar should those in your life be to you without actually becoming you?

Luckily, life is not black and white. If it was, this giant grey area I’m about to dive into would turn into a black hole and that’d be the last you see of this blogger. Besides, what fun is black and white without a whole bunch of grey to muck it all up anyhow?

I can only speak from experience on this one, so you’ll have to make your own judgments about personality compatability. My only hope is that my real-life experiences act as a better guide than the 40 question test e-Harmony has to offer.

So let’s dive into part one of strong personality encounters to see what the world has to show me.

A recent get-to-know-you discussion with Strong Personality (yes, a proper noun) opened my eyes to what it must be like to converse with me. I’m a talker, one who tends to dominate conversations, interrupt to tell a story, or call up friends just to talk about myself- hey, I never said it was something I’m proud of, but admitting is the first step…right? So imagine, if you will, a conversation between two people who haven’t known one another very long – both of whom are talkers. Questions were bouncing back and forth, with descriptive and entertaining answers in between. Not to mention opinions about experiences of the other person and a multitude of tangents that developed from the constant ebb and flow of thoughts. That conversation could have used a talking stick like the Indians used around their campfires - or is that a myth? Either way, you get the point. Needless to say, I’ve learned in a short period of time how to be a better listener. Sure, it may not have been by choice, but the lesson seems to have carried over to other relationships. In fact, last night I found myself calling my best friend to chat about him – though to no surprise there was a lull in the conversation as he’s quite used to my chatter; so as to not disappoint, I was able to fill the silence.

The sum of this long-winded experience is the lesson of listening and asking questions to those who are also talkers. They certainly appreciate it. And who knows, maybe one day, they’ll encounter a seasoned talker and learn the art of listening too.

Chin up. Mouth shut. Ears open.

Cheers!

-A