Patrick Kenzie’s got it right

What I’m about to divulge isn’t exactly from a real-life encounter, rather these are words of wisdom that hit close to my heart. During a recent after-work midweek break (consisting of sushi and a rental – what more can a girl ask for) the movie of choice was Ben Affleck’s “Gone Baby Gone.” Upon closing credits I wasn’t too sure how I felt about it, but after some deep reflection and analyzing, this flick is quickly climbing the charts (-A’s movie rating chart, that is). One scene stands out above the rest to me, with a quote from Patrick Kenzie (played by the scrawny Casey Affleck [c’mon Ben, I know he’s your brother and all, but you could have cast a more intimidating actor here]). A private investigator sits across the table from a local Boston police officer. Realizing that he has been deceived by someone he whole-heartedly trusted, private investigator Kenzie confidently speaks the following words:

“I can’t think of one reason big enough for him to lie about that’s small enough not to matter.”

Okay. Now read it again, I’ll wait. Pretty profound isn’t it?

Dishonesty, lying, deceit. To me, these are relationship deal-breakers. Dishonesty leads to a lack of trust, and really, what’s a relationship without trust. Friends, family, colleagues, it’s all the same. To have trust in someone else is the ultimate compliment. But to break the trust and the faith others have in you, is the ultimate crime.

Patrick Kenzie’s thoughts not only reflect a spoken truth, but they evoke emotion from all audiences. We’ve all been there, the moment you realize that someone in your life has deceived you, and what’s worse, you fell right into their dirty, lying palms. So now what, do you wash your hands of them (pun intended) or forgive, with the understanding that one can never forget. Most likely, it depends on the nature of the lie – did he tell you that your hair looked cute to keep from hurting your feelings, or did he kill your cat and blame it on your little brother. Sure, the latter is clearly more offensive than the former, but in the end, it’s all deception.

Personally, I’m an advocate for the truth – ask a question, get the truth – no matter how much it may hurt. At the same time, my decision-making path typically leads me to forgive and never forget, purely because it’s too damn difficult to stay angry (though the history of those who have deceived me never touched on anything nearly as extreme as death, so you can see from where my logic stems).

From what my life has shown me in the last 20+ years, lying is never okay – never. The truth shall set you free, or whatever, rings true. And hopefully, the next time a false statement starts to cross your lips, you’ll wonder if the reason is big enough to lie about, or if it’s small enough not to matter.

Cheers!

-A