Gossip web

It appears that recently I've been caught in this web of he said, she said with a number of people in my life.

This scenario seems to happen every couple years, where I, for one reason or another, am seen as the trustworthy friend that everyone comes to in order to talk about their other friends behind their backs (which, rightfully so, I AM that trustworthy friend!). It gets even more confusing when those friends are connected to one another and they're all talking about each other. It's hard for the listener to keep up.

I guess I've never fully understood gossip. I mean, sure, we all need to vent every now and again when something or someone gets under our skin. This is just being human. And I'm a huge believer in what is said between two people is not considered gossip, but rather, it's a closed door meeting of the minds to help resolve frustration for one or both parties involved. There is nothing wrong with this, so long as the conversation doesn't go any farther than that.

But, what I've found, is that it usually does.

Lately, with all the confiding that people have been doing (in me), I have to wonder how much gossiping they're doing with others (about me). You hear the old saying that those who talk about others to you are likely to talk about you behind your back - or however that goes - and I can't help but think through that statement as I'm being asked about my opinions about the people I consider my friends.

Thing is, we put a lot of trust in our friends. So if you've earned a friendship with someone (because as I see it, true friendship takes time to be earned), doing anything that doesn't fully support them - especially in front of others - would be a breech of said trust and would quickly lead to a loss of faith in the relationship, right? Talking bad about someone's character behind there back will do just that.

(Note: this does not include those times where your friends are about to do something so stupid they could ruin their lives and/or the lives of those around them. In situations such as these, the only good-friend move is to set them straight. People need their friends for honest feedback, too.)

So, for anyone who questions it, here's the scoop: if you're truly my friend, you can count on the vault being sealed. Anything I say to someone else about a situation that involves you is something I've already said to you - assuming it's even appropriate to discuss with others in the first place.

This goes for friends and family. There's no purpose in me gossiping about you behind your back, so you can count on me. I hope you can say the same.

Cheers!

-A