Get off the ice

So today I'm telling a tale on behalf of one of my co-workers because, honestly, it's the most entertaining encounter of the week.

And I'm going to tell it in first person, just for kicks.

Two weeks ago we had the kickoff game of my winter hockey league. On the team, there's a guy named Kevin* who's, let's be honest here, a little on the terrible side.

What makes that even better, is that in his spare time, he's a hockey coach for a children's league - but that's not the point here.

He is known to be one of those people who think they know everything about everything...er, hockey, and when team members try to provide constructive criticism he wants nothing to do with it. So instead, I, like most other players, try to be nice so he'll keep his know-it-all attitude under wraps.

Until, that is, this weekend.

(This may or may not be Kevin)

So we just scored a goal with two minutes left and we're heading up for a face-off when Kevin announces that we should call a time out. Having just scored a goal, the momentum has clearly shifted toward us, so the team disagrees and proceeds with the game while Kevin continues to throw a mini tantrum while insisting on the unnecessary time out.

Getting irritated, I proceed to tell him shut his yap (as politely as possible, of course). We banter for a bit. Our captain, who's a little tired of hearing us arguing, tells us both to cool it. So I shut up.

But, of course, Kevin continues to pester me.

When he doesn't get the [subtle] hits I go for the jugular:

"When your performance on the ice matches your mouth, we'll start listening to you."

Frothing at the mouth, his reply: "YOU TOO!"


Huh?

Does he know that doesn't make sense?

I turn to the team captain, who actually coaches little league with this dude, and apologize that he'll be getting an earful from Kevin about how much he can't stand me.

So after the game I decided to make things right with him. He was standing a few feet away from me on the ice so I skated over his way. When I was inches from him he turned and skated away toward the bench. Since I needed to go that direction anyhow I skated after him and he skated away again, upon my arrival.

Seriously? C'mon now, how old are we?

Regardless, I tried.

So this Sunday we had another game. I went in, prepared to either let it go or talk it out, depending on Kevin's needs that day.

As I entered the locker room I was approached by the captain.

Captain: "Hey, so you owe us a player."

Me: "Huh?"

Captain: "Kevin quit."

Me: "He quit, over that?"

Captain: "Yep, after last week's game he asked for his check back and quit."

Wow, really, who quits over a disagreement? Again, how old are we people?

(Editors note: Thanks to my colleague Luke for sharing this story.)

So tell me dear readers, do you know anyone like this? Have you ever encountered such a personality?

Cheers!

-A

*His name may or may not have been Kevin.