Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Being scared isn't a weakness



Okay, so maybe it is. But just like everyone else, I don’t like admitting weakness. And I suppose, just like most other 20-somethings, I’m freaking scared.



Scared of growing up, being an adult, scared of being out on our own, scared of losing our jobs in this roller coaster economy, scared of the wrong candidate getting elected into office. Scared of being alone, yet scared of commitment. It is the latter, my dear friends, that scares me the most.



Sure, I’m scared of all of the above from time to time, and probably a whole host of other things – but I recently uncovered my current fear, being alone and being part of a couple.



Gotta love a good catch-22.



This, of course, leads me to hang onto my single-ness for dear life, purley out of comfort. It’s what I know, and for some reason I’m more comfortable with myself than with someone else.



WHAT THE…



Why the heck is this?



I mean, it’s not as if I have that much trouble finding a date – it’s just that I have trouble going on them. Recently the BFF said something to me that helped, briefly, “c’mon Ash, it’s not as if you’re marrying the guy – give him a shot.”



Point taken.



But that doesn’t mean that I’m even remotely capable of wiping away my fear that going on a second date might eventually lead to something great, yet something that has the potential to take away my independence. After all, if there’s one thing in my life that I’m proud of, and that I’ve worked so hard to become, is a strong, independent woman.



More than changing things, though, I’d like to figure out what exactly I have to be afraid of. Going on a date is not making a life-changing commitment – as proven by the BFF above. Is it that I’m just not finding the right guy from whom to accept a second date offer? (If you have any recommendations, please don't hesitate to send them my way!)



Or is it about getting hurt? Better yet, is it about letting someone else in? Or maybe, fear of letting go of the past?



Maybe I should just accept that next date invite, and see where it goes…



Who am I kidding, I don’t even like talking about it, let alone acting on it.



Anyone else finding themselves in a similar situation?



What are you scared of?



Cheers!



-A



Editor’s note: I was even scared to write this post. But then I realized how great my readers are – and if anyone is willing to listen, it’s you.





5 comments:

  1. i totally feel ya. i'm definitely scared of being alone but even more scared of really dating. maybe i'm afraid i won't be good enough for whatever guy i'm dating? i'm definitely scared of being hurt, or being the one that loves the other more.

    i have absolutely no advice, but if someone else offers you some, do share! :)

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  2. I'm not really sure if I'm scared of commitment, but I'm definitely scared of having to sit through another horrible blind date.

    I guess I'm scared that I'll never be attracted to someone enough to give them a chance... or that there will be something so wrong with "mr. right" that I won't give him a chance.

    Ugh. I hate boys.

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  3. cc - if I get anything good, I'll be sure to send it your way!

    maxie - ugh, boys...

    alexa - you're too cute! But birds can be really freakin' scary. These giant birds always circle outside my office window - I wonder what it is exactly that they want...

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  4. Maybe being scared of accepting dates is your safety net because you know that you're not interested in a relationship and you don't want to hurt anyone?
    Going along with that, I am scared of leading boys on.
    I do know that in the long run, you will regret your inactions more than you actions (yay psychology!) so I think you SHOULD accept the next date you're offered :-)

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