Rave: Sparking Ice

Lunch today was hurried, as it is on most Mondays. Between conference calls I headed down to the little cafe in my building and ordered a grilled cheese on wheat.

Quick and easy.

I opted not to get a diet soda as normal, because with all the meetings I have today the last thing I needed was to be getting up to pee every 15 minutes.

So instead, I grabbed a new drink - and boy am I glad I did!

What caught my eye was the flavor: black raspberry. Different - I like different.

At the time, given that I was in a rush, I just thought this was flavored water. But to my surprise, it's lightly carbonated! I'm not normally a fan of carbonated beverages out of a bottle (yes, I know it's weird, but it's strong sometimes, and a little overwhelming with all the bubbles), though that wasn't the case with this drink.

It's yummy and sweet and refreshing - paired perfectly with a grilled cheese sandwich!

What's even better, is that it's sweetened with Splenda. I've been trying to stay about from aspartame (though it's difficult with diet soda) so this was a huge plus for me.

I'm also a huge fan of the slender bottle, works great for sticking it in a bag or purse and taking it on the go. In fact, I'm likely going to save this bottle to refill once the Sparkling Ice is gone...

...which is likely going to be soon. I can't put this stuff down.

Try out all the other yummy flavors they have and be sure to let us know how much you love them!

Cheers!

-A

Getting it figured out in your 20s

Okay, so this is a random, quarter-life crisis post I suppose. I'm sharing a few of the lessons that have recently been uncovered in my life. It appears 2010 is a year of learning for me, so I'm embracing it and sucking up every ounce of knowledge that life has to offer...and now I'm going to share these learnings with you. Take this as you will - the advice might apply or it might not, but I believe it's insight worth sharing. Cheers!

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So I've come to the conclusion that your 20s is really when you learn the most. Sure you go to school for nearly 20 years and that's supposed to be where you soak up your knowledge - in the classroom - but in reality you learn nothing about the real world until you are eyeballs deep in it.

When you're in school, your friends are right along beside you. In the real world, true friends are few and far between, and you often learn the hard way who those friends are. Though, it's bittersweet, because learning who the real ones are can give you all sorts of warm fuzzies, while learning that those you once trusted aren't what they seemed can be disheartening. But I believe there's a reason for the connections that stick. There are just some people you click with from the beginning and usually these are the people who play an important role in your life. I have yet to learn exactly why this might be, maybe it's not for me to understand. I'll be sure to share if I ever figure it out.

I've also learned to embrace those wonderful female relationships - those women who have stuck by me through the craziness of my life will never truly know how grateful I am because I can't do enough to show them that. This goes for everyone from my mother to my girlie cousins (no matter how far away) to my grandmother to my best friends and all those badass women adrenaline junkies I've had the pleasure to share the sky with (and some I can't wait to one day). Women are crazy bitches, we all are, but those that trust and love you go above and beyond. Hold those ladies tight and be sure to do right by them. We all need each other...sticking together is key!

When you're in your 20s you also learn about priorities, what's most important to your well-being. There have been a number of events recently that have shown me what's important in life and what can wait. Personally, I'm also learning balance. Until recently I've been an all or nothing kinda girl. If I'm going to do something, I'm going to completely emerse myself in it, never coming up for air, until I've accomplished exactly what I set out to do. Turns out, that doesn't work as well as I once thought. There's gotta be a balance. Life is like baking. There are lots of ingredients that make your life into the perfect pastry...I have yet to figure out the precise amounts of each "ingredient," but I finally start to feel like I'm getting there. I haven't made the perfect cupcake yet, but at least it's got a cake-like texture.

Okay, that got lame. Apologies.

Now is this a time for figuring out who you are and what you want to do with your life, but it's also a time to figure out how to BELIEVE in who you are. One thing I've learned is that you can't compromise who you are for other people. Most people in this world suck - they're selfish and don't give a shit about you, so why give a crap about them? Stay true to who you are, and those that matter most will stick around. Besides, you're at your best when you can completely be yourself. Personally, I want to be around people who appreciate me for who I am, and vice versa. Fakeness has never worked for me - it doesn't work for most, I have a feeling, as I can often see right through those who try too hard.

Be there for your family, make them a priority. Whether you like it or not, they're not going anywhere, so you might as well enjoy the time you spend with them. You might be surprised how much you love the company of these people with whom you share a bloodline. ;)

Though I've come to learn that "family" doesn't necessarily mean what I once thought. You don't have to be blood relation to be apart of a family. My closest friends are my family. My boyfriend is my family. And of course, my actual family is my family. I'm lucky to have incredibly supportive relatives - not everyone does. But those people who stick by you and support you and love you, they are your family too. Treat them as such. Be loyal and commit to them the way they have to you.

Be a part of something bigger than yourself. This can be anything from volunteering to starting a family or even owning a pet, to devoting your life's actions to a particular cause. This will help you step out of the selfish life most of us lived growing up and become a useful part of society. It also will help you realize that it's not always about you (some people desperately need to learn this lesson - though unfortunately, some never will) there are bigger, more important things out there. Strive to make an impact.

Be polite. Smile as often as possible. Say thank you. These little things make a huge difference, and you never know when that might be the brightest spot in someone's day.

Have passion for something. Anything. Whether it's a hobby, your family, even your career. This is where you can truly learn to live. Passion gives you something to wake up for in the morning. It provides a direction. It makes progress in this area seem less like work - it becomes enjoyable. Passionate people are the ones who make an impact in this world. They care and they are devoted to this passion. They do something with their life. I like to be passionate about everything I do, it helps you live in the moment. Which brings me to my next point...

Live in the moment you're in. Often we spend too much time looking ahead or dwelling on the past, but we're missing what's happening in front of us. Stop. Embrace the moment. Talk less and listen more. This is great advice I was once given by someone much wiser than me. I'm just the messenger...still working on this one. Each and every day.

Let's see...what else.

Oh right! Your health. Take it into your own hands. When you're a kid you have to go to the doctor, your parents make you. Be proactive as an adult. Make appointments, take a multivitamin, eat healthy, don't smoke, don't drink like you're still in college. Bad shit can creep up on you fast. Beat it to the punch.

I'm sure there's some advice about money and saving for your future and all that, but honestly that's not a lesson I've completely learned yet. Budgeting and sticking to it is a challenge I continue to struggle with...'saving' might as well be a four letter word in my vocabulary. Hopefully one day life will show me the way - preferably not so much the hard way.

Either way, your 20s is a time for getting it figured it out, hopefully. Though I'm confident the learning continues throughout life, the 20s seems to be a decade of learning by doing -- life isn't something you can learn in a textbook. It's all about experience, making mistakes, or even doing the right thing the first time and knowing it was right.

Many of my lessons have come this year, 26 is the magic age, apparently. Family, relationships, being a part of something bigger, responsibility - these are all things that have made themselves not only apparent but a priority in my life. I have a feeling this is just the beginning of what I'm about to discover. If you're interested, I'll keep sharing as I continue learning.

What are some of the lessons life has taught you lately?

Cheers!

-A

Challenge: Finding the Positive

So I have a challenge for my readers out there (and for myself!). This is something I practiced for a quite some time a few years back and became pretty proficient at it if I do say so myself.

It was a struggle at times, but ultimately I was happier all around than when my focus swayed the other direction. Though somehow I lost sight of this frame of mind, unfortunately...

Here it is: no matter what happens, try to find the positive.

Or at the very least, don't immediately jump to the negative.

Believe it or not, there really is a positive side to almost every situation.

Loss leaves room for new, often better opportunities. Failure shows you how to accomplish something bigger and better than you'd ever dreamed. Struggle often leads to the most rewarding successes.

It's not so much an "everything happens for a reason" mentality so much as it's finding the good in situations rather than getting your panties in a bunch over every little thing that doesn't go your way.

I've been seeing a lot of this lately, at the office, with my friends, even in the comments that people post online, it's like people are never happy with what's going on around them.

Well guess what, most of the time things don't work out precisely as you think they're going to. That's life...it's also what makes it a little exciting.

So the next time something doesn't go quite as planned, take a step back for a second and look at how this is a good thing, rather than getting upset about it. I'll be practicing this right along with you!

I bet you'll find that you make yourself much happier in this frame of mind.

Cheers!

-A

30 before 30

As you may have noticed, I'm on this "focus on me" kick right now. So what a better way than to think about those things I want to do in the near future.

Typical interview question: "where do you see yourself in the next five years?"

That one's always been tricky for me, because honestly, I don't have a clue what I want to do with the rest of my life. I know that I like my career and that I'm happy with where my life has taken me so far, but of course I'm always striving for the best - not to mention that I'm always craving change.

Of course, this doesn't stop me from creating some goals for myself. I've never been one for a 5-year plan, that's just a disaster waiting to happen - when one piece of that plan doesn't go as, well, as planned, the rest is out the window.

But when I came across my friend's 30 before 30 list, I couldn't resist the challenge to put one together. So, I'm gonna shut up now and give you my list of 30 things I want to accomplish (in no particular order) before I hit the big 3-0. Which, for those who are counting, is more of a 4 year plan given that I just surpassed 26...

1. Get out of debt.

2. Own a dog.

3. Earn my SCUBA certification.

4. Volunteer at a soup kitchen.

5. See an outdoor play.

6. Travel to Amsterdam.

7. Get organized.

8. Move out of Cleveland.

9. Swim with dolphins.

10. Take a trip to Angel Falls.

11. Marry the love of my life.

12. Watch the sunrise and sunset on the same day.

13. Jump off the New River Gorge Bridge.

14. Spend a day at the spa.

15. Take my grandfather to dinner.

16. Wander NYC without a plan and see where it takes me.

17. Shoot a hand gun.

18. Travel with my father.

19. Sell some (more) of my photography.

20. Begin writing a book.

21. Be a muse for a photo or portrait.

22. Get a very personal, meaningful tattoo.

23. Write a living will.

24. Learn to dance and do it in public.

25. Get published in a national magazine.

26. Learn to ride a motorcycle (road bike, been there done that with dirt bikes).

27. Invest for my future.

28. Finish a crossword puzzle.

29. Take a wine appreciation course.

30. Learn to let go and stop caring so much what others think.

As you'll notice, some of these I'm well on my way toward accomplishing. This list is very do-able (aside from the crossword puzzle part, not so sure about that one)!

Though as I was generating this list, I came up with other, longer term goals that would be more a part of a bucket list. So I'm adding a #31 to this list:

31. Create a bucket list (see the start of it below):

-Skydive in New Zealand

-Establish and run a 501(c)3 (ideally before 30, but I'm not going to hold myself to that)

-Travel to Rio de Janeiro

-Go on vacation and leave my cell phone at home

-Buy a house

-Scuba Dive the Great Barrier Reef

-Enter a video contest

-Own a sports car

-Travel to as many destinations on the 1,000 Places to See Before You Die list.

So tell me dear readers, what's on your 30 before 30 list?

Cheers!

-A

Making YOURSELF the priority

I have this tendency at times to make everything in my life a priority with the exception of myself.

My career, my relationships, networking, blogging, skydiving...the list goes on.

What I find happens from time to time is that the world shows me that I need to focus on me - and it's usually not in the most pleasant way. These wake up calls typically involve sickness or some other setback that makes me realize I haven't been paying enough attention to my own well-being.

Though, this hasn't always been the case. Sure, in college, I tended to beat the hell out of myself, with drinking and staying up till all hours, but when I lived in Texas it was the complete opposite. After breaking my foot (the first time) I made sure to take vitamins, eat healthy, work out every day after work, attend 2 yoga classes a week, make time to watch my favorite TV show every Thursday, sneak out of the office once a day for a 10 minute walk in downtown Dallas to enjoy the sunshine, go for runs in the park on nice days, get regular massages, grab my camera for random photo shoots around the city...you get the idea.

I was in better shape and better health than I've ever been. But for the past few years, my hobbies and other responsibilities have taken over as priority, and I have taken a backseat.

This is NOT okay. I've been compromising my health, both mentally and physically for things that I thought mattered more.

A couple weeks ago I sat down and made appointments for the eye doctor, the dentist, the massage therapist, and even at my salon. I felt pretty good about that. But I quickly forgot about taking care of myself on a daily basis as well. Oops.

Well I'm making it a point to bring some focus back to me. After all, I can't be the best at the things that have become high priority in my life without being in good shape myself, right?

Now I certainly can't expect that I'll be able to do all those things I was once able to fit into my life in Dallas, after all, life has changed drastically since that time, my job doesn't allow for a 10 minute break most days, and I don't have cable so there will be no TV watching, but there's no reason why I can't find time to practice yoga once a week, or read a chapter in a good book every few days. And I have promised myself in the recent past that I'd get back on the horse when it comes to my photography, for which I haven't been doing a very good job.

As someone who truly believes that the most important relationship you have in this world is with YOURSELF you think I wouldn't need random, and sometimes scary, wake up calls to get me back on track. But then again, no one is perfect.

It's all in an effort to become a better person - for my relationships, for my hobbies, for my career, and most importantly, for myself.

I encourage you to do the same. Challenge yourself to take time every day to focus on yourself. You might be surprised just how much it helps your mental and physical state. I'm certainly looking forward to the rewards.

Cheers!

-A

Poll: dealing with fake "friends"

Last night the BF and I got into a discussion on dealing with people who are rude, two-faced, irrational or just downright pigheaded.

This was one of those times where we completely disagree with one another. But don't get me wrong, that's not a bad thing in the slightest. We do what works for us - can't get after someone for that. And there are even times where I've taken our differences and blended them together to make a better solution (I'm sure he's done the same from time to time, right honey?), these differences only work to make you a better person, in the end. But I do find it interesting that our approach differs so much.

Here's a scenario to put it into perspective a bit: so you have this person, who you assume is your friend, right? But they're always making shitty comments, doing stupid things that really get under your skin. You blow it off, cuz that's what friends do, give each other crap, and you don't want to be a big puss about it...Then you find out that they are doing and saying this shit behind your back as well. You're irritated...so what do you do.

Here are the two trains of thought on this one:

1. The next comment that's made you get in their face, let them know just how you feel about what they have to say. Essentially, do something about it.

2. Let it roll off your back. Not everyone is going to be the friend you think they are, but getting upset about it just isn't worth your time or energy. Stay strong and keep on being who you are, no matter what other people think.

These are very dumbed down versions of the discussion, but you get the idea.

I fall into the latter category - my theory is, if someone can't be a good friend all the time, then they're just not worth the effort. Saying something isn't going to change anything, because they are going to be who they want to be, regardless.

The BF, of course, falls into the former category. His thought isn't so much about trying to get someone to change so much as standing up for what you believe in, letting people know it's not okay to act this way if you want to be friends, and getting it off your chest.

Both have very valid points, as I'm sure both have their flaws. And of course, what works for some may not work for others, but I'm curious, which side of the fence do you stand on? The one that's a little more passive, maybe a little more Buddhist in approach, or the one that gets the point across and gets the tension off your chest?

Poll time - category 1 or 2, and why?

Cheers!

-A

Baffled by the 6-incher

As a woman, there's one thing that's always confused me about our gender.

The need to wear overly high heels.

What did you think I was referring to?...And now you can remove your head from the gutter.

But really, what's the point? Sure, I get the idea of heels making your calves and ass look amazing, and they sure do help, but from my experience this can be accomplished with a small heel - inch or two tops will suffice.

What's more, I'm a shorty! Topping out at 5'3" there are days where I could use the extra height, but honestly, my favorite pair of dress shoes are a black, round toe MaryJane that maybe, just maybe bring me to 5'5". I suppose I've embraced my short stature, but I still don't get the women out there who think they need shoes like this to survive.

Okay, so that's an exaggeration, of course. But I just saw this girl walking in my building in what was probably 5" heels and she was walking as if she was healing from two broken legs. She was wobbly and clearly very uncomfortable. Not to mention that she was moving at a snails pace, because really, who can take a normal stride in tall, pointy shoes?

I mean really, this just doesn't look comfortable.

In this country, our obsession with high, tight, pointy, uncomfortable women's shoes boarders on insanity. When I see a woman who has stuffed her feet into a pair of pumps that her tootsies clearly want to revolt against (have you seen the women whose feet spill over the side of their shoes because they're shoved in so tightly - it looks like they have foot fat, seriously), I can't help but think about the foot binding that Chinese women are subjected to.

So my question is this - can anyone explain to me exactly what the point is?

Cute shoes don't have to be this uncomfortable. And as I noted before, an inch or two will get just about anyone where they want to be with that extra lift. So unless you're 4'6" and really, truly need the extra height, what's the point?

I'm sticking with my comfy 1 inchers and keeping my head high - well as high as it can go - and being proud of my short little legs.

Cheers!

-A