An Ode to Broom Handle

This year, New Year's Eve was spent at home. The boyfriend and I hosted a few of our skydiving friends at our new place. It was an attempt to keep things tame and not have to be out driving around with the drunk crazies after midnight.

The latter was successful...

During the night we ran into our neighbor and invited him over for a drink, as sort of a peace offering I suppose.

Wait, let me back up and explain.

When BF and I started the move in process, we met one set of neighbors - the ones with whom we share a living room wall. The wife seemed nice, and he, well, he was wasted. It was a Wednesday evening and when he introduced himself he was literally stumbling in place with drunkenness.

I forgot his name.

A couple days later, on Saturday evening, we were sitting in the kitchen after a day of skydiving, playing with some of our equipment when we heard this tapping at the sliding glass door.

We looked over to see a broom handle coming over the fence. BF opens the door, thinking the neighbor wants to be, well, neighborly, when he tells us that we've woke his wive up, twice, and need to be quiet.

HUH?!

We inquired about what we were doing that was loud, as we had been sitting in the kitchen for quite some time, and he couldn't tell us anything aside from the fact that we were being loud.

Personally, I think he's a total puss and is afraid of the wifey over there.

Anyhow, after this incident he was appropriately nicknamed, Broom Handle.

So fast forward to New Years when, long after midnight, Broom Handle comes home with some friends. As he's standing outside, we invite him in to share a drink. This is, of course, after we told him that we'd nicknamed him broom handle.

Come to find out, his name is actually Rod.

Rod.

Yes. Seriously.

A round of shots is poured and ROD decides to toast to a "quiet" New Years. And he wasn't joking.

I decide right then and there that he will forever remain Broom Handle in my world.

A little later in the evening he decides to invite himself back into our house to let us know that it's getting late and needs to get a little quieter. He asked us - somewhat nicely - to turn the music down.

"Anything for you, Broom Handle!" was the oh-so-sarcastic expression that leapt from the BFs mouth.

After being ignored, and probably realizing he was ignored, he wandered over again, let himself into our house and told a friend of ours to quiet down, that his wife is trying to sleep.

Ugh, I can see we're going to have some issues with this guy in the future.

Seriously, I think he's afraid - clearly of his wife, possibly of the BF. Grow a pair, dude, and tell us on our side of the fence if you have a problem. Don't be a douche and involve one of our friends.

Needless to say, in the end, I hate him more than I did before.

But thanks, Broom Handle, for the small (very small) amount of entertainment I could provide here on my blog today.

I suppose, this could be considered a RANT.

Aside from this, New Years was fantastic. Hope y'all had a great one!

Cheers!

-A