Cold pizza for breakfast

If I could eat one thing for breakfast for the rest of my life it would be cold pizza. With Pepsi.

Don't get me wrong, I love breakfast. I just prefer my pancakes and hash browns for dinner instead.

Cold pizza at 6 a.m. is where it's at.

This weekend I came face to face with that girl (you didn't really think I was just going to write about my breakfast food preferences, did you?).

We all know the girl I'm talking about - the one that all girlfriends aspire not to be with their significant other and his/her friends. The type that defaults to pet names rather than calling her boyfriend by his actual name, with a voice so irritating you feel as if you're bleeding from the ears.

Remember that episode of Seinfled where Jerry and his girlfriend call each other schmoopie and make the rest of their friends want to puke?



Yeah, this was worse.

On top of that, she found any reason to pick a fight with my friend.

My friend, talking to his buddy, "I've gotta be to work tomorrow at 8:30."
That girl, assuming he was addressing her, "Baaaabby, why do you aaalways do this to me..." followed by a lot of whining.

She's one of those who loves to hear her own voice. Turns out, it's fingernails on a chalkboard to the rest of the world. Where's my air horn when I need it?

Sometimes I wish life was like a game of Taboo where you could buzz the other players when they spoke out of turn (or something like that). After this weekend, the batteries in my buzzer would be dead.

Now, in my trivial attempt at giving her the benefit of the doubt, she is only 19. In hind sight I really should have slapped my friend upside the head for dating her in the first place, but that's an entirely separate issue.

So the question is, what possesses men to date women like this?

And girls, why oh why do you behave so?

Insight much appreciated.

Cheers!

-A