Insight into the minds of others

Once again I want to take a moment to recognize the insight provided by Seth's blog post on Bad Judgement. Rather than paraphrase, I'll let Seth's words speak for themselves:

All day, you run into people with bad judgment. That critic who didn't like your last movie, or the prospect who refuses to buy your product even though it's better. Or the angry customer who is bitter, vindictive, loud and out to cost you your job... even though they must know it's not your fault. Or perhaps it's the employee who refuses to exert a little extra energy even though it would help all of you.

It's enough to make you scream. Or give up.

Here's a thought: Maybe it's not bad judgment.

Try this on: "If I believed what you believe, I'd probably be acting exactly the same way you are right now." (Better thought than said, probably).

You know what, that's almost certainly true... if I believed what you said when you wrote that angry blog post, I probably would have written the same thing.

Once we realize that it's not a matter of judgment, but a matter of belief, everything changes.

Again, his thoughts pertain more to the world of marketing than to the crazy world of everyday human encounters, but I'm beginning to believe they have more in common than originally thought.

Let's think about it, when was the last time you saw someone in a restaurant let off some steam on the waiter due to slow service. Odds are, the circumstances were beyond the server's control, and likely due to a number of factors, but he still must take the heat for it - both verbally and monetarily. Curious onlookers tend to jump to conclusions about the patron who publicly lost his cool. As a society we tend to think this person is probably spoiled, rude, inconsiderate, or a number of other adjectives to describe his impolite behavior. But wait, what if he truly believes he was wronged? Not to mention the status of his life outside this restaurant. For all we know, he very well could have just come from visiting his mother in the hospital after a stroke, faught traffic all the way to the other side of town, just to meet his wife on their anniversary at their favorite restaurant. He wanted everything to be perfect for this special evening, and, it wasn't. Just like there were a number of factors involved in the slow service at the restaurant, there were also a number of factors involved in the outburst of this customer.

Does that make it right? No. But until you've lived in another person's shoes long enough to see a situation from his perspective, behavior shouldn't be judged; at least, not quite so harshly.