Full and shivering

Look Food, we all know how much I love you and your nourishing goodness, but I've got a serious beef with you.

Stupid pun not intended.

This is a problem I've been suffering with for years. Almost immediately after consuming your pure deliciousness my extremities get so cold they feel as if they might fall off.

C'mon food, I know this is your fault, it's been happening for too long now for this to be some kind of coincidence.

What's more - when I wash you down with pure, crystal clear water it only escalates the situation.

Now, this becomes a problem when I need to eat outside of my house, because it certainly isn't acceptable for a grown 25 year old woman to carry around a blanket to wrap herself in post-meal. And I'm certainly not wearing a Snuggie around in public. 

So tell me Food, what's a girl to do? Please do tell, because I know I'm not the only person out there who suffers this debilitating coldness after eating, and I'm certainly not going to go on living like this.

Until I get an appropriate response, I'm boycotting. I'll live on coffee and tea until we can work something out, Food.

Hungrily yours,

-A

p.s. Anyone who believes I'm actually giving up food, even for a second, is out of your bloody mind.