Does distance work?

Okay, I know what you're thinking, "c'mon A, another post about relationships? What gives?" Especially because I'm usually the content single girl who loves my job, family and hobbies so much there's no time for dealing with or even contemplating the drama of love and relationships. So what gives? Let me tell you...

This spring and summer has been filled with travel. Nothing too exotic or exciting, and mostly for work, but regardless, it feels as if I’ve been away from the Midwest more than I’ve been living in it (and we all know I wouldn’t have it any other way). One of the best parts of traveling is getting to meet new people. But when the travel abruptly stops – as it has for me this month – it gives you time to look back and reflect on the events that took place and the people met along the way.

So what does this have to do with love? Everything.

As luck seems to have it, I meet men of interest while traveling. But after a few exciting days of talking and flirting the trip comes to an end, I board a plane back to Ohio and life goes on as the single girl. Long distance text messaging ensues, but I often end up cutting the strings for fear of any emotions getting involved. After all, the last thing I want to do is set myself up for a broken heart. But then again, I’ve heard people say time and time again that unless you put yourself out there and risk getting hurt, you leave yourself unavailable for the next great thing to sweep you off your feet. True?

No one likes to be vulnerable, especially in situations where the odds don’t seem to be in your favor. But isn’t it possible, in the world today, to successfully do the “distance thing?”

This one has me perplexed. On the one hand, young professionals tend to spend a lot of time away from home - either at the office, traveling for work, visiting friends, or partying it up at the bar, trying their best to forget they are no longer in college.

For me, I get antsy, so if I’m not traveling for work I’m finding ways to travel on my own. Not to mention that some of the more intriguing people I’ve met lately are just as wrapped up in their career as I am – if not more – so even if proximity wasn’t an issue there wouldn’t be much face time. On the other hand, it would be nice to be able to have impromptu dates and see someone on a fairly regular basis without dropping 300 bucks on a plane ticket. But then again, I’m pretty independent so the need to see someone on a daily basis just isn’t there. I could go on like this forever, but I’ll spare you…

Question remains: does distance work?

Regardless of how, when, and where you’ve met someone, is it possible to start a relationship from a distance and make it work?

Hmm…interested to hear your take. But for now it’s back to being the über content single girl of the Midwest and playing my favorite sport as wing-woman for my girls.

Cheers!

-A

A man named 'what?'

The BFF and I headed to Cedar Point yesterday for an amazing 13 hours of fun-filled roller coaster riding. One of the big benefits of going to Cedar Point every year (aside from the obvious thrills) is the people watching. When I retire I'm going to be one of those old people at the mall who sit and stare at the crazy shoppers. I love people watching. And Cedar Point seems to attract some of the most interesting people if the Midwest on lovely summer Saturdays.

While in line for the first ride of the day we noticed an early 20-something with two very interesting tattoos on his triceps: a question mark on the left and an exclamation point on the right. We pointed it out to one another, exchanged looks indicating our confusion, and hopped on the ride as if that'd be the last time we'd think about Mr. Punctuation.

Alas, after our first thrilling coaster and heading to the next we see him walking in front of us. My guess that he was heading to the same ride we were next was right on target. This was the longest wait of the day so we had plenty of time to discuss his ink and speculate as to why he would have such interesting tattoos.

1. He loved Schoolhouse Rock as a kid

2. The confusion of others (?) excites him (!)

3. He had to complete the set - otherwise the comma on his left butt cheek wouldn't make sense

After a while we got bored and moved on to judging others, but it was fun while it lasted. But tell me, if you were the one with the tricep punctuation tattoos, what would be your reason?

Cheers!

-A

p.s. Happy Birthday, Dad. 

Where business and friendship collide

There’s a fine line between business partners and friendship. I’m learning this the hard way.

In today’s society, so much pressure is put on young professionals to succeed and in turn we put in endless hours to climb our way to the top. Thus, personal relationships outside the office suffer and we tend to bond with those nearest to us: our colleagues and business partners.

However, these relationships are often strained by politics as there needs to be a level of professionalism involved – buried a thin layer underneath if not directly on the surface of the relationship – which can make openness and trust an issue. And I don’t know about you, but when I consider someone a true friend, it’s a sign that I can open up to and trust the other person. After all, we all need people we can confide in on a personal level – we would not be human if not for this social need.

The question is, how do you know when you can consider a colleague a friend? What about a business partner, client, or vendor – is it ever really possible to cross over into friendship without feeling as if you are walking on egg shells to protect your reputation and the underlying business relationship?

I like to think so…

Cheers!

-A

Friday on the rooftop

For the first time in a couple months I spent the entire weekend at my apartment. Between traveling for work and pleasure, trips back home to visit the family, and random road trips I haven't spent much time in my current residence. And after a long winter filled with bar hopping and crappy dates the break was much needed. I was pleasantly surprised by how enjoyable this weekend turned out to be, and let me tell you, it's been a long time coming.

Friday night after the typical day at the office and a run I headed out with some long-lost friends for sushi and wine followed by beer and cornhole at the nearest Winking Lizard. By the time we made it back to the apartment, Wii bowling was calling our names (I broke my record, where's Mike when you need him?) It was a beautiful night so my friend Ryan and I ventured up to the rooftop deck for some fresh air, though as a bonus we also narrowly escaped a heated discussion on religion. Who talks religion at 3 a.m. on a Friday night anyway? I mean really...

Sitting up on the deck overlooking downtown really helps clear my head, and it seemed to do the same for my friend. We chatted for quite some time about the things that are most important to us, and the topic of love and dating came up. It made me think of this post by a fellow single 20-something blogger as we discussed the perils of dating and the desire to have that "giddy" feeling about someone without all the politics of dating. Is that even possible? It was refreshing to be sitting with someone of the opposite sex who also thinks some of the social norms of dating are bull shit - the newest of which being sending a text to ask someone out. Guess what, my answer, if there is a response at all, is no. Don't be a coward, pick up the phone and face potential rejection like a man.

I could add to this list forever. But let's hear what y'all think.

Cheers!

-A

Love vs. Career in the World of 20-Somethings

Rather than discussing an interesting personal encounter, I wanted to share a recent article that appeared on MSN about the priorities of 20-somethings, specific to one's career choices (and given the popular response I received on Twitter today, I figured, why not start a discussion here). The author shares her dilemma in choosing between love and career growth, whether to move for love or stay planted for local educational opportunities in order to advance in her career. This article hit close to home, as I am a 20-something who is struggling to find balance between growing my career and my social circle. And adding relocation and acclimating to a new city to the mix (like yours truly) can make things even more complicated.

In the end, the author made the best choice to fit her lifestyle. But the question remains - to build your career in your 20s or find a mate and settle down? I'm a believer that you can have both. How, is the question...

Take a gander at the article and share your thoughts, dear readers, and advise a single, 20-something, career driven woman as you see fit.

Cheers!

-A

Home for the holidays

Technically, I went home for the holiday, the 4th of July holiday that is.

Going home is always a treat. Growing up in small town America, I couldn't wait to leave for the big city. And now, having lived in and experienced some of the biggest cities this country has to offer, I can't wait to go back home for a weekend of peace and relaxation (yes, Michigan is still my home as I consider myself still in transition). After a weekend away I often leave feeling rejuvenated from the slow pace of the country but ready to jump right back into city life. However, watching this extended weekend at home come to a close has left me with feelings of home-sickness and longing, the effects of which have been contemplation and inward reflection.

There are so many things I miss about living in rural Michigan, but here's a few that I hope will provide a glimpse into the world where I grew up:

1. The amount of stars that you can see on a clear night. It's incredible.
2. A quick 15 minute trip takes you to the heart of East Lansing and Michigan State University.
3. Michigan State University's campus.
4. A hockey obsessed state - Hockeytown in the D
5. Farms. Everywhere.
6. Seasons at their finest - I've never experienced a true autumn anywhere else
7. My family, of course
8. The friendly faces, smiles and random conversations of Midwesterners
9. Outdoor activities - us country folk play lots of outdoor games like Bocce Ball
10. The lakes
11. Appreciation for cars, especially the American-made classics
12. Men who actually do things with their hands - yes, people actually know how to fix their own car, lawn mower, dish washer...
13. The community - people stick together and support one another when it really matters
14. Strawberry farms, yum!
15. Adam

[Okay, so that last one is specific to me, but every time I go home and spend time with my BFF I come back to the city missing him a little more than before.]

So there you have it, my top 15 reasons, in no particular order, why I love my home state. Of course there are reasons beyond these, as well as reasons to dislike 'home' such as the economy and gas prices, but the pros definitely out weight the cons. Maybe I'm a sap. Or maybe I haven't taken the time to truly appreciate and embrace all that NE Ohio has to offer. Regardless, I miss my home and I heart Michigan. So please, no need to apologize when I tell you where I'm from. I'm quite proud of my roots and fully enjoy my mini vacations in a most tranquil of places.

What are some of the reasons that you miss home?

Cheers!

-A

San Francisco's Gay Pride Weekend

This past weekend I was lucky enough to be a part of the numerous gay pride celebrations taking place throughout San Francisco. There were hundreds of thousands of people celebrating in the streets on Saturday and Sunday, making for a festive weekend to be vacationing in the city. According to the news, officials were expecting over 1 million people in attendance at Sunday's main parade. Given that the parade route was less than one block from my hotel, we decided to head to the airport before it started for fear of being trapped in the city and missing my flight out - though that would not have been a problem in the slightest, but that's a story for another time.

Of all the interesting and engaging encounters of the weekend, there were some that I'd like to get off my chest first. I phrase it this way because I met some people who really pissed me off, and to be honest, people I don't fully understand. Some people call them bigots, some call them homophobes, I call them idiots. Why? Because not only did some of the people I encountered hate the gay and lesbian community with a firey passion, they also live in San Francisco and they stuck around for gay pride weekend. Come on, if you hate them so much, leave!

I don't fully understand this hatred to begin with. Sure, you may not agree with someone's lifestyle, but that doesn't mean you have to hate the person for it. Grow up, we're in the 21st century. And honestly, if you can't suck it up for one of the biggest celebration weekends in the country, schedule a vacation and relax. Really...I don't like pumpkins, but if a pumpkin festival came to town you wouldn't see me protesting in the streets, because some people, after all, do like pumpkins. And others have friends who like pumpkins, and they are big pumpkin supporters. So instead of wasting my time and energy on trying to convince people they should hate pumpkins too, I'm going to take a vacation during pumpkin pride weekend - time and money better spent elsewhere!

Editors note: I do, in fact, like pumpkins. I like them a lot. Wouldn't it be great if there was a pumpkin festival in Cleveland, we could decorate, photograph, cook, and celebrate the beauty of pumpkins...I think we need to make that happen! But you get the idea.

I'm not a big hater in general. In my opinion it takes way too much energy to hate something. Focusing on something you enjoy takes way less energy and it's much more enjoyable.

So what about you? Ever encountered these "haters," people who are so obsessed with disliking something so much it frustrates you just looking at them? Let's hear about it. And deep breaths, let's not stoop to their level and add more unnecessary hate to society.

Cheers!

-A